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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Nepotism

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Things we don't need: the Ws in "answer" and, um, the Oval Office. None of us needs a "Skypager," "Mamacita," or another drink. Try as they might, your tonsils can't write "Mr. Mister." Jack Davey, however, can. And we need her like we need another hole in black music's claustrophobic head*.

Pete Macia. That's Peter Macia to you (on some Laurence Fishburne, we-ain't-familiar shite). He says nice things (nullus). Lots of dudes from Tha Fork say nice things.

Were I a bit quicker checking my e-mails last night, a young gentleman out of Atlanta, whose bio claims he produced Lil' Yola's "Ain't Gone Let Up," would have certainly said nice things to me. But alas, XXL** Music Editor Anslem Samuel (by all means a gentleman and a scholar) had to pass the proverbial dutchie.

Meh.

Think I'll compensate by (again) replaying last night's convo:

"I'd rather fuck a bowl of oatmeal than Ann Coulter."

"Tee hee.

"You like girls wholike meare way too tall for you. Why not Adam's apples?"

"Apples aren't sexy."

"DUDE. They are so not!

"You know what's sexy? Peaches!

"I'm from Atlanta; my ass is like a peach. What could be more vulnerable than a peach?"

"Emmanuel Lewis."

"My roommate wonders why I'm laughing so hard."

"Gotta love roommates. They wonder. They care."

"I think she has a crush on you."

"Why?"

"'Cause you're not from L.A."

"What's wrong with the guys from L.A.?"

"The guys from L.A. ran The Game. You know, the Neil Strauss book.

"My roommate and I met at an Anger Management course for girls who fell for The Game.

"Now, if we even fucking
think we see a guy who's buying a fucking wallaby I swear to fucking God, his ass is so fucking ours!"

"Say 'fucking' again…"

"Fucking."

"See, that would never work back East…"

"What, fucking?"

"…New York girls are
—yeah—too smart for that shit."

"True.

"Wait…so that's what's always wrong with Julian Casablancas.
Shorty's roommate sounds like a dime….

Hmm? I'll be on time for that
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My Vibe check came today; I'm gonna go be somebody's bar star tonight.

P.S. Hov is dropping in November. Do we wonder? Do we care?

*Don't get it twisted baby girl; I'm still on your team.
**Roll with the winners!